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When you are sad...
I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the scum-sucking parasite who made you sad.

When you are scared...
I will laugh at you and tease you about it every chance I get.

When you are worried...
I will tell you how much worse it could be and to quit complaining.

When you are confused...
I will use little words to explain it to your dumb ass.

When you are sick...
I will hold your hair while you pay homage to the porcelain god.

When you fall...
I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my oath, I pledge till the end.
Why you may ask? Because you're my friend.



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