A nun is walking through an airport to catch a plane to the Vatican. As she rounds the corner to her gate she sees a machine with a sign that reads," Your Weight And Fortune - 5 Cents".

The nun does not believe in such things, however, she goes over to the machine and inserts a nickel. A card comes out which says,

" You are a nun, you weigh 125 lbs. and before you board your plane you will pass gas.".

The nun is unimpressed and proceeds on to her gate. ten seconds later she rips a window rattling blast of gas. She is naturally shocked and goes back to the machine.

With another nickel she gets a card that says,

" You are a nun, you weigh 125 lbs. and before you board your plane you will be raped.".

The nun laughs (because who in the world would rape a nun) and heads for her plane. ten seconds later a masked man jumps out from behind a corner, throws her on the floor, throws one to her, and runs away.

The nun is flabergasted and runs back to the machine to see what else her life has in store for her. The next card comes out with the message,

" You are a nun, you weigh 125 lbs. and with all of your farting and f-cking around, you missed your plane!"