STUDENT QUOTES

  From Jack Smith of the Los Angeles Times.

    Juel Goldstock, an English teacher at Huntington Park High School,
    collects student bloopers, otherwise known as Pullet Surprises.
    Here are a few of the gems from his collection:

  "I spent the week in Hawai, the hom of pom trees, cocanuts and loo
   wows..."

  "They always were poor but, now, thanks to the Reagan Administration,
   they're in deep puberty..."

  "When you put Roosevelt and Wilson side by side, you can see that they
   had few differences but their contrasts weren't that similar..."

  "In the 1920s, there were lots of new things.  There were new clothes
   and new cars and new music and new ways to get pregnant..."

  "In the eleventh grade, I had a big problem.  My teacher was Mr.
   Goldstock and he caused my future to disappear..."

  "His poetry uses lots of onomatopoeiazadora..."

  "Even kings and queens can be sad.  I know for a fact that, sometimes,
   Queen Elizabeth mops around the castle..."

  "I know where babies come from.  Women produce the eggs and man
   produces the spam..."

  "Margaret Sanger was a lady that due to the invention of the car tried
   to prohibit birth control..."

  "In the Middle Ages, the Black Pledge was going around..."

  "Oedipus killed his real father, then married his real mother.  That's
   called incense..."

  "King John signed the Carta Blanca..."

  "My first year of school was first grade.  I didn't attend
   kidneygarten..."

  "Romeo and Juliet were so in love.  One night they secretly exchanged
   vowels..."

  "Without an education, many people in this world would be dum..."

  "He was so stund, he just stud there..."

  "Frank Furter was a Supreme Court Justice."

  "It's hard to imagine, but someday I'll be a mother.  First, I'll get
   pregnant; then, I'll spend nine months in hard labor..."

  "All life is sacred.  No one would want to be deprived of living
   against his own will..."

  "Cleanliness is next to Godlessness..."

  "I wouldn't go to college in Boston because the work is harder in a
   foreign country..."