REALISTIC STATE MOTTOS
ALABAMA:
Literacy Ain't Everything
At least you're not Mississippi
ALASKA:
Colder than a polar bear's patoot
11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong!
ARIZONA:
Dehyd-rific!
ARKANSAS:
At Least We're not Oklahoma
Send us your contributions, we'll send you our Bill...
Litterasy Ain't Everthing
CALIFORNIA:
Se Habla Ingles
Hey, with this many of us, we can make it legal!
As Seen on TV
COLORADO:
If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
CONNECTICUT:
New York City's OTHER Suburb
Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character
DELAWARE:
Parking for Dupont employees only.
(line left blank - Delaware is too small to have a motto)
FLORIDA:
The Gunshine State
Give me your sick, your old, your rich retirees...
Ask Us About Our Grandkids
Lil' Cuba
Elian slept here
GEORGIA:
We put the "Fun" in Fundamentalist Extremism
HAWAII:
Try our lei-away program
Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru
(Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
IDAHO:
Famous Potatoes ... and Neo-Nazis
And don't even joke about the &%$#)%^ potatoes!
More than just potatoes... Well OK, we're not, but the potatoes sure
are real good
ILLINOIS:
Gateway to Iowa
INDIANA:
Home of Dan Quayle
2 Billion years tidal wave free
KANSAS:
Don't blame us, we voted for Dole
Toto isn't here anymore
First Of The Rectangle States
KENTUCKY:
Tobacco is a Vegetable
Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
LOUISIANA:
We're not all drunk Cajun wackos, but that's our tourism campaign
MAINE:
For Sale
Cheap Lobster
MARYLAND:
We're better than Virginia, Damn It!
The best place to get crabs
A thinking man's Delaware
MASSACHUSETTS:
Taxus Por Un Fortunat Bums
Our taxes are lower than Sweden's (for most tax brackets)
MICHIGAN:
Where cars used to come from
First line of defense from the Canadians
MINNESOTA:
Land of 7,000 lakes and 3,000 man-made ponds
For Sale
MISSISSIPPI:
Elvis was born here, but heck, even *he* left
Come feel better about your own state
MISSOURI:
Loves company...
Your Federal Flood Relief tax dollars at work
I'll show you mine if you show me yours
MONTANA:
Where men are men and sheep are scared...
Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomer, and very little else
NEBRASKA:
Not much to look at, but we sure have a lot of it
Ask about our State Motto Contest
NEVADA:
Two to one you'll come again!
Whores and Poker!
NEW HAMPSHIRE:
Go away and leave us alone
We're only important every four years
NEW JERSEY:
The Garbage State
Waste not ... send it here instead
You want a ##$%##! motto? I got yer ##$%##! motto right here!
NEW MEXICO:
Lizards make excellent pets
NEW YORK:
You have the right to remain silent, you have the right to an
attorney
You lookin' at me?
NORTH CAROLINA:
Five million people; Fifteen last names
Furniture out the wazoo
Tobacco is a Vegetable
NORTH DAKOTA:
Um... We've got... Um... Dinosaur Bones? Yeah, Dinosaur Bones!
OHIO:
Don't judge us by Cleveland
The pillow state -- round on both ends, hi in the middle and full of
fluff
OKLAHOMA:
Rather sooner than later
Like the play only no singing
OREGON:
Jerry Garcia was here!
Spotted Owl, it's what's for dinner
PENNSYLVANIA:
Cook with Coal
RHODE ISLAND:
We're not REALLY an island
SOUTH CAROLINA:
Settled by prisoners, what do you expect
Remember the Civil War? We didn't actually surrender
SOUTH DAKOTA:
Closer than North Dakota
To rent this space call 1-800-SEE-COWS
TENNESSEE:
The Educashun State
To stay here, you'd HAVE to be a Volunteer!
TEXAS:
Don't Mess with Texas -- We're Armed
Se Hablo Ingles
UTAH:
Our Jesus is better than your Jesus
VERMONT:
Yep
VIRGINIA:
We're better than Maryland, Damn It!
Who says Government stiffs and slackjaw yokels don't mix?
WASHINGTON:
Keep Washington green, Grow Hemp
If we'd meant DC, we'd have said DC, stupid
Help! We're overrun by nerds and slackers!
WASHINGTON, D.C.:
Wanna Be Mayor?
WEST VIRGINIA:
Well, it sounded better than Eastern Ohio...
One big happy family - Really!
WISCONSIN:
Wear cheese or die
Come cut our cheese
WYOMING:
Flat is where it's at
More elk than people, but not much traffic
Wynot?
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