An elderly spinster called the lawyer's office and told the
receptionist she wanted to see the lawyer about having a will
prepared.  The receptionist suggested they set up an appointment
for a convenient time for the spinster to come into the office. 
The woman replied, "You must understand, I've lived alone all my
life, I rarely see anyone, and I don't like to go out. Would it
be possible for the lawyer to come to my house?"

The receptionist checked with the attorney who agreed and he went
to the spinster's home for the meeting to discuss her estate and
the will.

The lawyer's first question was, "Would you please tell me what
you have in assets and how you'd like them to be distributed
under your will?"

She replied, "Besides the furniture and accessories you see here,
I have $40,000 in my savings account at the bank."

"Tell me," the lawyer asked, "how would you like the $40,000 to
be distributed?"

The spinster said, "Well, as I've told you, I've lived a
reclusive life, people have hardly ever noticed me, so I'd like
them to notice when I pass on.  I'd like to provide $35,000 for
my funeral."

The lawyer remarked, "Well, for $35,000 you will be able to have
a funeral that will certainly be noticed and will leave a lasting
impression on anyone who may not have taken much note of you! 
But tell me," he continued, what would you like to do with the
remaining $5,000?"

The spinster replied, "As you know, I've never married, I've
lived alone almost my entire life, and in fact I've never slept
with a man.  I'd like you to use the $5,000 to arrange for a man
to sleep with me."

"This is a very unusual request," the lawyer said, adding, "but
I'll see what I can do to arrange it and get back to you."

That evening, the lawyer was at home telling his wife about the
eccentric spinster and her weird request.  After thinking about
how much she could do around the house with $5,000, and with a
bit of coaxing, she got her husband to agree to provide the
service himself.  She said, "I'll drive you over tomorrow
morning, and wait in the car until you're finished."

The next morning, she drove him to the spinster's house and
waited while he went into the house.  She waited for over an
hour, but her husband didn't come out.  So she blew the car horn.

Shortly, the upstairs bedroom window opened, the lawyer stuck his
head out and yelled, "Pick me up tomorrow, she's going to let the
County bury her!"