Sarcastic remarks to get you through the day

1. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
2. Do I look like a fucking people person?
3. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
4. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
5. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
6. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
7. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
8. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
9. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
10. Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
11. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
12. I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?
13. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
14. A woman's favorite position is CEO.
15. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
16. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
17. Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong.
18. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
19. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
20. And which dwarf are you?
21. I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here or to go?