A small West Virginia Wild Animal Park had acquired a very rare species
of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very horny,
and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the park veterinarian
determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse,
there were no male gorillas of the species available. While reflecting
on their problem, the park administrators noticed Ed, a part time
redneck intern, responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. Ed, like
most rednecks, had little sense, but possessed ample ability to satisfy
a female of ANY species. So, the park administrators thought they might
have a solution. Ed was approached with a proposition.  Would he be
willing to have sex with the gorilla for $500?  Ed showed some interest,
but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.  The
following day, Ed announced that he would accept their offer, but only
under three conditions.

"First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her." "Secondly, you
must never tell anyone about this." The park administration quickly
agreed to these conditions, so they asked what was his third condition.

"Well," said Ed, "You gotta give me another week to come up with
the $500."