Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

How do most men define marriage?

A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."

A bum asks a man for $2. The man asked, "Will you buy booze?" The bum said, "No." The man asked, "Will you gamble it away?" The bum said, "No." Then the man asked, "Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?"

After the wedding, the bride's dad took a taxi to bankruptcy court. As he got out he said to the driver, "You might as well come too."

A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money I wouldn't be here."

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.