REAL NEWSPAPER HEADLINES
12 On Their Way To Cruise Among Dead In Plane Crash
2 Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter
Air Head Fired
Arson Suspect Is Held In Massachusetts Fire
Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft
Bank Drive-In Window Blocked By Board
Ban On Soliciting Dead In Trotwood
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney From Dad She Hasn't Seen In Years
British Union Finds Dwarfs In Short Supply
British Left Waffles On Falkland Islands
Caribbean Islands Drift To Left
Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Feed Needy
Chinese Apeman Dated
Children's Stool Great For Use In Garden
Chou Remains Cremated
Columnist Gets Urologist In Trouble With His Peers
Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures
Complaints About NBA Referees Growing Ugly
Deaf College Opens Doors To Hearing
Dealers Will Hear Car Talk Friday At Noon
Death Causes Loneliness, Feelings Of Isolation
Deer Kill 130,000
Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case
Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 In '84
Dr. Ruth To Talk About Sex With Newspaper Editors
Eighth Army Push Bottles Up Germans
Enfield Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
Eye Drops Off Shelf
Farmer Bill Dies In House
Grandmother Of Eight Makes Hole In One
Hershey Bars Protest
Hitler, Nazi Papers Found In Attic
Hospitals Are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While
Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Is There A Ring Of Debris Around Uranus?
Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In 10 Years
Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half
Lung Cancer In Women Mushrooms
Man Eating Piranha Mistakenly Sold As Pet Fish
Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
Man Is Fatally Slain
Men Recommend More Clubs For Wives
Miners Refuse To Work After Death
Mounting Problems For Young Couples
Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One
New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group
New Missouri U. Chancellor Expects Little Sex
New Housing For Elderly Not Yet Dead
New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
N.J. Judge To Rule On Nude Beach
Old School Pillars Are Replaced By Alumni
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told
Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
Police Discover Crack In Australia
Prosecutor Releases Probe Into Undersheriff
Prostitutes Appeal To Pope
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
Reagan Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus To 66
Smoker Mothers Have Lighter Children
Smokers Are Productive, But Death Cuts Efficiency
Some Pieces Of Rock Hudson Sold At Auction
Soviet Virgin Lands Short Of Goal Again
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Steals Clock, Faces Time
Stiff Opposition To Casketless Funeral Plan
Stolen Painting Found By Tree
Stud Tires Out
Students Hear Reptile Lecture
Survivor Of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
Two Convicts Evade Noose; Jury Hung
Victim Tied, Nude Policeman Testifies
War Dims Hope For Peace
Women's Movement Called More Broad-based
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