One Liners

-Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips. -Sex is like air, it's not important unless you aren't getting any. -Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyways. -If vegetable oil is made of vegetables, what is baby oil made of? -No guts, no glory, no brain, same story. -Cocaine is gods way of telling you that you make too much money. -If quiters never win, and winners never cheat, then who is the fool who

said "Quit while you're ahead"? -If you don't die from it -- it is healthy. -If everything is going well, you don't know what the hell is Going on. -One good turn gets most of the blankets. -It is better to be looked over than overlooked. -There are three kinds of people -- those who can count and those who can't. -It is not what a teenager knows that bothers his parents, it is how he

found out.
-My homework is like a juicy steak -- rarely done. -There are two kinds of pedestrians -- the quick and the dead. -Life is sexually transmitted.
-Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. -An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys. -If at first you don't succeed -- give up! No use being a damn fool. -Falling in love is awfully simple. Falling out of love is simply awful. -No job is so simple that is can't be done wrong. -You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever. -Only adults have difficulty with childproof bottles.