The Month After Christmas............

Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house

Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse. The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I would taste

At the holiday parties had gone to my waist. When I got on the scales there arose such a number!

When I walked to the store it was less a walk than a lumber. I remembered the marvelous meals I'd prepared;

The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rare, The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese

And the way I'd never said, "None for me, please." As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt

And prepared once again to do battle with dirt--- I said to myself, as only I can

"You can't spend another winter disguised as a man!" So -- away with the last of the sour cream dip,

Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip Every last bit of food that I like must be banished

Till all the additional ounces have vanished. I won't have a cookie -- not even a lick.

I'll chew only on long celery sticks. I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,

I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry. I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore

But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, life's no longer a riot.

Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!