Behind every successful man stands a devoted
wife and a surprised mother-in-law.


Adam and Eve were the happiest and the luckiest
couple in the world, because neither of them had
a mother-in-law.


Sometimes you cannot tell if a man is trying so
hard to be a success to please his wife or to
spite his mother-in-law.


Does it really surprise anyone that Mother-in-law's
Day occurs less than one week before Halloween?


My mother-in-law was bitten by a dog yesterday.
How is she now?
She's fine.  But, the dog died.


Hello.  Your mother-in-law fell into my pool with
crocodiles.  The crocodiles are yours, so you
save them.


A pharmacist tells a customer: "In order to buy
arsenic you should need a legal prescription. A
picture of your mother-in-law just isn't enough."


Mother to daughter:  "Your boyfriend is such a jerk
that I would be delighted to be his mother-in-law."


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The lawyer cabled his client overseas: "Your
mother-in-law passed away in her sleep.  Shall
we order burial, embalming or cremation?"
Back came the reply, "Take no chances -- order
all three."

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One day a husband was late coming from work
and his wife was nervous.
"Oh, I know he has an affair with some woman,"
she said to her mother.
"Why do you always think the worst?" her mother
replied, "Maybe he is just in some kind of accident."

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Have you heard about this man who took his
mother-in-law to the zoo and threw her into the
crocodile pool.  He is now being sued by the
RSPCA for being cruel to the crocodiles.


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Two neighbors were having a chat when one
said, "I took my dog to the vet today because
it bit my mother-in-law."
The other asked, "Did you put it to sleep?"
"No, of course not," said the first, "I had its teeth
sharpened."

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My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog in the
street.
"Oh, that's terrible"
"Yes, it was terrible to watch the dog die slowly
in convulsions."


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The president of the service club asked his new
member, "Would you like to donate something
to the home for the aged?"
The new member replied, "Yes, my mother-in-law."


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