MOMMA JOKES

Yo MAMA IS SO FAT............
When she hauls ass she has to make two trips. When she dances she makes the band skip. When she diagnosed with the flesh eating disease the doctor gave her 13

years to live.
She puts mayo on aspirin.
Her ass has its own congressman.
Her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
When she goes to the zoo the elephants throw her peanuts. Her high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph. Her driver's license says "Picture continued on the other side". The back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs. Yo mama's so fat, "Place Your Ad Hear" is printed on each of her

buttcheeks.
Yo mama's so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that say: ''MAXIMUM OCCUPANCY: 240 PATRONS OR YO MAMA" Yo mama's so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of

the milk carton.
Yo mama's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down. Yo mama's so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth. Yo mama's so fat, she got smaller fat women orbiting around her. Yo mama's so fat, when I yell "KOOL-AID", she comes crashing through the

wall.
Yo mama's so fat, she could sell shade. Yo mama's so fat, when she crosses the street, cars look out for her. Yo mama's so fat, people jog around her for exercise. Yo mama's so fat, I ran around her twice and got lost. Yo mama's so fat, she gets runs in her jeans. Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu. Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu,

she gets an estimate.
Yo mama's so fat, if she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take his

word for it!
Yo mama's so fat, she has to put her belt on with a boomerang. Yo mama's so fat, when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back

party.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion. Yo mama's so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone. Yo mama's so fat, her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters. Yo mama's so stupid that when she filled out a job application where is says “person to contact in case of emergency”, the bitch put 911.

Yo mama's so skinny, if she had dreads I'd grab her by the ankles and use her to mop the floor Yo mama's so poor, when she heard about the last supper, she thought she ran out of food stamps

Yo mama's so tall, she did a push-up and burned her back on the sun. Yo mama's so nasty, she went swimming and made the Dead Sea. Yo mama's so stupid, they had to burn the school down to get her out of 3rd grade. Yo mama's so fat, when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps Yo mama's so fat, her yearbook picture is an aerial. Yo mama's so stupid, when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon. Yo mama's so ugly, her mom had to be drunk to breastfeed her Yo mama's like a refrigerator, everyone puts their meat in her. Yo mama's like McDonalds... Billions and Billions served. Yo mama's so fat, the telephone company gave her two area codes. Yo mama said she liked seafood, so I gave her crabs. Yo mama's feet so big, her sneakers need license plates. Yo mama's so ugly, she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Hal Yo mama's so fat, people jog around her for exercise.loween. Yo mama's blind and seeing another man. Yo mama has one ear and a burnt potato chip. Yo mama's so fat and old that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat butt out of the way Yo mama's so old, she owes Jesus a nickel. Yo mama has one leg and a bicycle.
Yo mama's so fat, when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too. Yo mama's so fat, she broke her leg and gravy dripped out. Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your telephone bill

Yo mama's so stupid, if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless Yo mama's so stupid, she cooked her own complimentary breakfast Yo mama's got so many gaps in her teeth it looks like piano keys Yo mama's teeth are so rotten, when she smiles they look like dice. Yo mama's so stupid, she asked you "What is the number for 911". Yo mama's like a hardware store, 25 cents a screw Yo mama's legs are so hairy if she had fur coat & a banana they'd stick her back in the zoo. Yo mama's a stunt double for the predator. Yo mama's so fat, they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping Yo mama's so nasty, she made Speed Stick slow down. Yo mama's so tall, if she did a back-flip she'd kick Jesus in the mouth. Yo mama's got 1 leg longer than other and they call her call her hip hop. Yo mama's so stupid, she thought a lawsuit was something you wear to court. Yo mama's so stupid, she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor smacked the wrong end. Yo mama's got a bald head with a part and sideburns. Yo mama's like cake mix, 15 servings per package! Yo mama's so ugly, her picture is on the inside of a Roach Motel Yo mama's so fat, when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party. Yo mama's like a Toyota, "OOooh what a feeling!" Yo mama's cross-eyed and watches TV in stere Yo mama's so greasy, she uses bacon as a band aid. o. Yo mama's head is so little, she could wear fruit loops as head rags. Yo mama's so bald, I can read her mind. Yo mama's so poor, she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air-conditioning I saved Yo mama's life today... I killed a shit-eating dog on the way over. Yo mama's so stupid, she thought she needed a token to get on soul train. Yo mama has green hair and thinks she's a tree Yo mama's so old, she owes Moses a quarter. Yo mama's so fat, when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas. Yo mama's so hairy, she shaves with a weedwhacker. Yo mama's so stupid, she said "what's that letter after x" and I said Y she said "Cause I wanna know". Yo mama's like a screen door, after a couple of bangs she loosens up Yo mama's so ugly, it makes me wish birth control is retroactive

Yo mama's like a shotgun, one cock and she blows Yo mama's like a bus, guys climb on and off her all day long. Yo mama's head is so wrinkled, she has to screw her hat on. Yo mama's so stupid, at bottom of application where it says Sign Here - she put Sagittarius. Yo mama was such an ugly baby, her parents had to feed her with a slingshot Yo mama's so stupid, she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut. Yo mama's got so many teeth missing, it looks like her tongue is in jail. Yo mama's so old, when she was in school there was no history class Yo mama's so poor, she married young just to get the rice! Yo mama's so black, when the police shot at her the bullets came back for flashlights. Yo mama's so fat, she stood in front of the Hollywood sign and it just said H d. Yo mama's so stupid, she sold the car for gas money. Yo mama's got a wooden leg with a kickstand on it. Yo mama's like a railroad track, she gets laid all over the country. Yo mama's so old, she knew the Beetles when they were the New Kids on the Block. Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the last supper. Yo mama's so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion. Yo mama's so fat, when she backs up she beeps. Yo mama's got 1 toe & 1 knee and they call her Tony. Yo mama's so old, she ran track with dinosau Yo mama's so old, when God said "let there be light" she was there to flick the switch. Yo mama's so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund. Yo mama's arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear. Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born she was put in an incubator with tinted windows. Yo mama's so hairy, Bigfoot took a picture of her. Yo mama's house is so dusty the roaches ride around on dune buggies. Yo mama's so poor, she eats cereal with a fork to save milk. Yo mama's got a 4 dollar weave and don't know when to leave. Yo mama's so short, you can see her feet on her driver's license. Yo mama was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage." Yo mama's so ugly, they know what time she was born, because her face stopped the clock! Yo mama's so black, she can leave fingerprints on charcoal. Yo mama's so tall, when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th. Yo mama's so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals." Yo mama's so old, when she reads the bible she reminisces Yo mama has a short leg and walks in circles. Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to put M&M's in order. Yo mama's so black, if she had a red light she'd be a beeper. Yo mama's so black, when she eats a tootsie roll, she's gotta wear white gloves to keep from chewing her fingers off. Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Boyz2Men was a daycare center. Yo mama's so stupid, she sat in a tree house because she wanted to be a branch manager. Yo mama's like the Pillsbury dough boy - everybody pokes her Yo mama's so ugly, her face is closed on weekends! Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare the chrome off a bumper! Yo mama's so stupid, she got a part time job painting skittles Yo mama's car's so ugly, someone broke in just to steal The CLUB. I just saw Yo mama walking down the hall with a mattress strapped to her back asking for volunteers! Yo mama has so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it. Yo mama's so clumsy, she got tangled up in a cordless phone. Yo mama's so old, her social security number is 1. Yo mama's so ugly, that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects. Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, I can't believe it's not butter. Yo mama was born on Independence Day and can't remember her birthday. Yo mama's so fat, she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us! Yo mama's so fat, she has to grease her hands to get into her pockets. Yo mama's so big, her belly button's got an echo. Yo mama's so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it wouldn't even come back. Yo mama's so old, Jurassic Park brought back memories. Yo mama's hips are so big, people set their drinks on them. Yo mama's so stupid, she stands up on an empty bus Yo mama's so fat, when she brought her dress to the cleaners, they said "Sorry, we don't do curtains." Yo mama's so fat, she tried to get an all-over tan, and the sun burned out. Yo mama's so bald, her hair looks like stitches Yo mama's so greasy, Texaco buys oil from her. Yo mama's so nasty, she only changes her drawers once every 10000 miles Yo mama's so ugly, when she passes by a bathroom the toilet flushes. Yo mama's so poor, your TV got 2 channels: on and off. Yo mama's so fat, she wakes up in sections. Yo mama's so fat, she measures 36 24 36, and the other arm is just as big. Yo mama's so cheap, instead of buying a fire alarm, she hangs Jiffy Pop from the ceiling Yo mama's so black, she bleeds smoke.
Yo mama's so fat, she wears a VCR for a beeper Yo mama's so stank, that her shit is glad to escape. Yo mama's so fat, when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground Yo mama's so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her as a new world. Yo mama's so fat, she plays hopscotch like this: LA, Detroit, Chicago, NY Yo mama's so big, when she goes to the movie theater she sits next to everybody. Yo mama has one arm and swims in circles. Yo mama's so big, when you climb on top of her your ears pop Yo mama's so stupid, she was locked in a grocery store and starved to death. Yo mama's so old, she co-wrote the ten commandments. Yo mama's so fat, when I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the wall. Yo mama's so fat, when she gets on the scale it says to be continued. Yo mama's so baldheaded, when she showers she gets brainwashed. Yo mama's like Denny's... open 24 hours. Yo mama's so fat, at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts Yo mama's so ugly, they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to "Get the fuck off." Yo mama's so big, that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"