Why Men Are (Justifiably) Proud of Themselves:
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  1. We know stuff about guns

  2. A 2-week trip requires only one suitcase

  3. We can open all our own jars

  4. We can go to the bathroom without a support group

  5. We don't have to learn to spell a new last name

  6. We can leave a motel bed unmade

  7. We can kill our own food

  8. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness

  9. Wedding plans take care of themselves

  10. If someone forgets to invite us to something they can still be
      our friend

  11. Underwear is $10 a three-pack

  12. If you are 34 and single nobody notices

  13. Everything on our faces stays the original color

  14. Three pair of shoes are more than enough

  15. We don't have to clean the house if the meter reader is coming

  16. Car mechanics tell us the truth

  17. We can sit quietly and watch a game with a friend for hours
      without thinking "He must be mad at me."

  18. Same work-more pay

  19. Gray hair and wrinkles only add character

  20. We can drop by and see a friend without having to bring a little
      gift

  21. If another guy shows up at a party in the same outfit you just
      might become lifelong friends

  22. Your pals will never trap you with: "So, notice anything
      different?"

  23. We are not expected to know the names of more than 5 colors

  24. We almost never have a "strap problem" in public

  25. We are totally unable to see wrinkles in our clothes

  26. The same hairstyle lasts for years-maybe decades

  27. We don't have to shave below the neck

  28. A few belches are expected and tolerated

  29. Our belly usually hides our big hips

  30. One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons

  31. We can do our nails with a pocketknife

  32. We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache

  33. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 people on the
      day  before Christmas and in 45 minutes