A businessman boarded a plane to find, sitting next to him,
an elegant woman wearing the largest, most stunning diamond
ring he had ever seen.  He asked her about it.

"This is the Klopman diamond," she said. "It is beautiful,
but there is a terrible curse that goes with it."

"What's the curse," the man asked?

"Mr. Klopman."


****************************************************************


The difference between bathing suits now and then are that the 
bathing suits from the past required that you open the suit to see 
the buttocks.

The bathing suits today require that you open the buttocks to see 
the suit. 


****************************************************************


What do tofu and dildos have in common?
They're both meat substitutes. 

What do Rubick's Cubes and penises have in common?
The more you play with them, the harder they get.  



*****************************************************************


The patient was lying in bed, still groggy from the effects of the
recent operation. His doctor came in, looking very glum.
"I can't be sure what's wrong with you," the doctor said, "I think
it's the drinking."
"Okay," the patient replied, "Can we get an opinion from a doctor
who's sober?"



*****************************************************************


Did you hear about the male prostitute who got leprosy? 
He did okay until his business fell off.


Hear the slogan for the Stealth Condom?
"They'll never see you coming."


******************************************************************


A man walks into the psychiatrist's office
and says, "Doc, you gotta help me, I keep
having this recurring feeling that I'm going
to shrink!  What can I do?"

The doctor replied,  "Now, calm down, you
just need to be a little patient."



*******************************************************************


The doctor took Dan into the room and said, "Dan, I have some good news and
some bad news."
 
Dan said, "Give me the good news."
 
"They're going to name a disease after you."



********************************************************************