said, "Didn't you see the stop sign?"  I said, "Yeah, but
     I don't believe everything I read."

One day after work, a blonde walked into a pizza parlor and ordered a small personal pizza. When it was finished, the waiter asked the blonde if she wanted it cut into four pieces or eight.

The blonde thought a bit, and said "Better make it four, I'd never be able to eat eight."

"It was just a simple misunderstanding, your Honour." Testified the man charged with indecent exposure.

"Explain that statement!" harrumphed the Judge.

"Well, you see, this girl and I were drinking in a bar & she asked me what I wanted most in a woman -- so I showed her."

One day a mom was exasperated with her young son's antics. She, snapped at him saying: "How do you ever expect to get into heaven?"

"Well," fidgeted the little boy after some thought. "I'll run in and out, and keep slamming the door till they say 'Come in or stay out!' and then I'll go in."

Did you hear about the two blondes that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive in? Yeah, they went to see "Closed For The Winter"