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What does the gynecologist and the pizza delivery boy have in common?

They can both smell it but can't eat it!


Did you hear Lorena Bobbit died in a car crash?

Some dick cut her off.


Why do men float better then women?

Because they're scum.


"When I go, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming, like the passengers in his car."


Do you know why women can't fart?

Because they can't keep their mouth shut long enough to build up pressure!


  1. They discovered a new food that stops women from wanting sex --- wedding cake.
  2. Why did the Siamese twins go to London? So the other one could drive.

How is a woman like a condom?

Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.


Q. What is the similarity between a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken?

  1. By the time you've finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to pop your bone in

Q: What do you call the extra skin around a penis?

  1. A man.

Q: How are twisters (tornados) and marriage alike?

  1. They both begin with a lot of blowing and sucking, and in the end you lose your house.

What do you call a fat woman with a yeast infection?

A whopper with cheese.


What is the difference between O.J. Simpson and PeeWee Herman?

It only took 12 jerks to get O.J. off!





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