Collection of Halloween one-liners
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Why did the doctor tell the zombie to get some rest?
He was dead on his feet. 

What can't you give the headless horseman?
A headache. 

When you die and come back as a hillbilly, what's it called?
Re-Intarnation 

Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend  

Who does Dracula get letters from?
His fang club.  

What computer software would a witch need to use if she wants to place
a hex on a taxicab?
A spell checker 

What do rednecks do on Halloween?
PUMP-kin 

What kind of cereal do monsters eat?
Ghost-Toasties 

Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?
Because if they were small and round and smooth they'd be M&Ms  

Why did the ghost go into the bar?
For the Boos.  

What is a ghost's favorite ice cream flavor?
Boo-berry. 

What does a ghost eat for lunch?
A Boo-logna sandwich. 

What do witches put on their hair?
Scare spray

How do you keep a monster from biting his nails?
Give him screws. 

Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
To improve his bite...

Where do vampires learn to suck blood?
In law school... 

Why are vampires like false teeth?
They all come out at night.