GREETING CARDS YOU'LL NEVER SEE (hopefully)

Happy Vasectomy!
Hope you feel zippy!
'Cause when I got one
I got real snippy.

I heard you had herpes
And I feel terrible.
I'd say "get well soon"
But I know it's incurable.

My tire was thumping,
I thought it was flat.
When I looked at the tire,
I found your cat.
Sorry!

You had your bladder removed,
And you're on the mends.
Here's a bouquet of flowers
And a box of Depends.

You've announced that you're gay,
And won't that be a laugh,
When they find out you're one
Of the Joint Cheifs of Staff.

So your daughter's a hooker,
And it spoiled your day.
Look on the bright side:
She's a really good lay.

Heard your wife left you.
How upset you must be!
Don't fret about your wife though;
She's moving in with me.

Your computer is dead
And it was so alive.
You shouldn't have installed
Windows 95.

You totalled your car
And can't remember why.
Maybe it was
That case of Bud Dry.

So you lost your job,
It's one of those hardships in life.
Next time, work harder
And stay away from the boss's wife.


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