DATING HINTS FOR GENTLEMEN

There are LOTS of ways to ruin a date. Here are a few things NOT to say on a date...

• Nice outfit. Is that a wonder-bra?
• I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.
• No wine for me tonight. My urologist says it's not good to mix alcohol and penicillin.
• I refuse to get cable. That's how they keep tabs on you.
• People say I remind them of Eddie Haskell.
• I used to come here all the time with my ex.
• I never said you NEED a nose job. I just said it wouldn't hurt to consider it.
• Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn't hear my voice on the answering machine every hour.
• I like clay. It's mushy.
• I really feel that I've grown in the past few years. Used to be I wouldn't have given someone like you a second look.
• And I won that trophy in the inter-fraternity belching contest.
• I know you said you don't eat anything with a face. But a good butcher will cut that part off for you if you ask.
• It's been tough, but I've come to accept that most people I date just won't be as smart as I am.
• Dropping my pants just scared them. But when my underwear hit the ground... Man! I never knew Jehovah's Witnesses could run that fast.