stumble to the bathroom, ensuring a night of bacchanalia in
     the stalls.

7> Aiming love arrows ONLY at dog genitals and human legs. 6> Recent Oreo binges making it impossible for tiny wings to

support his bloated girth.
5> Offering "special military discount" to Army drill instructors. 4> Shows up with an arrow through his head and shouts, "Well,

excuuuuuuuuuuuse me!"
3> He's got three days of stubble, he's waving a half-empty bottle

     of Everclear, and he's up in a clocktower with a pink assault
     rifle, screaming about "that amateur bastard Chuck Woolery."
  2> Has given up his bow and arrow in place of simply kicking
     lovers in the groin.

     and the Number 1 Signs Cupid has Gone Nuts...

1> Despite abundant wit and ravishing good looks, a majority of

the Top 5 List contributor pool remains inexplicably single.

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