WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
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KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.

JACK NICHOLSON: 'cause it f.....g wanted to. That's the f.....g reason.

RONALD REAGAN: I forget.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

ARTHUR ANDERSEN CONSULTANT: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the
road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced
with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies
required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a
partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking 
its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the 
Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, 
methodologies, knowledge capital and experiences to align the chicken's 
people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within 
a Program Management framework.
Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts
and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in
the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings
in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both, tacit and
explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to
achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting
and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum
of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like
setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was
strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent,
clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, 
vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total 
business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken 
change to become more successful.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be
free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken,
"Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and
there was much rejoicing.

HOMER SIMPSON: Mmmmmm. Chicken.

PAMELA LEE ANDERSON: What's a chicken?

BEAVIS OR BUTTHEAD: Uh-heh-heh. He said 'chicken'. Heh-heh.

JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone
ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around
all over the place, anyway?"

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed
the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will
not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents,
and balance your checkbook.

DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected 
in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

BILL CLINTON: I'll say this once. I did not have a sexual relationship
with that chicken.

PAULA JONES: The chicken showed me its pecker, so I'm suing it.

HILLARY CLINTON: It's nothing more than a poultry farmer conspiracy to
smear the chicken, and it has been since the chicken entered public life.

STEVEN KING: The chicken continued its quest for the Dark Tower.

EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath
the chicken depend upon your frame of reference.

BUFFY THE CHICKEN SLAYER: It's time to fry some chicken.

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?