How to bathe the cat
=====================


1.   Thoroughly clean the toilet.

2.   Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have
     both lids lifted.

3.   Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the
     bathroom.

4.   In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both
     lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape).
     CAUTION: Do  not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his
     paws will be reaching out for any purchase they can find.

5.   Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "powerwash
     and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.

6.   Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there
     are  no people between the toilet and the outside door.

7.   Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both
     lids.

8.   The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside
     where he  will dry himself.


     Sincerely, The DOG