THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY AT WORK....... BUT CAN'T!

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

* I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

* I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it.

I like you.  You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

Does your train of thought have a caboose?

Errors have been made.  Others will be blamed.

Chaos, panic & disorder - my work here is done.

* I have plenty of talent and vision.  I just don't give a damn.

I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

Thank you.  We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

What am I?  Flypaper for freaks!?

* Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...?

Do I look like a people person?

This isn't an office.  It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

** If I throw a stick, will you leave?

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

How do I set a laser printer to stun?

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted a paycheck.