Bumper Stickers

• Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.
• A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
• Horn broken, watch for finger.
• My kid had sex with your honor student.
• If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
• Help wanted telepath: you know where to apply
• I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
• Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
• I'm just driving this way to piss you off.
• Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
• Keep honking, I'm reloading.
• Hang up and drive.
• Lord save me from your followers.
• Guns don't kill people, postal workers do.
• Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.
• I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.
• Friends don't let Friends drive Naked.
• If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
• Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
• Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
• Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.
• Sex on television can't hurt you... unless you fall off.