Patient : How much to have this tooth extracted? Dentist : $90.00.
Patient : $90.00 for just a few minutes of work??? Dentist : I can extract it very very slowly if you like.

A Polish couple is on vacation when they see a sign that says, "Helicopter Tours, $200."

The wife says, "Isn't that a lot of money just to look around a helicopter?"

The mother catches her kid masturbating and warns him:

"Ben, you're gonna go blind if you keep touching yourself."

And the kid answers, "Well, can I just do it, then, until I need glasses?"

A small boy was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said,"I've lost my dad!"

The copper said, "What's he like?"

The little boy replied, "Beer and women!"

A gal enrolled in nursing school is attending an anatomy class. The subject of the day is involuntary muscles. The instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asks her if she knows what her asshole does when she has an orgasm. "Sure." she says, "He's at home taking care of the kids."

I had been teaching my three-year-old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime she
solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer.

"Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail. Amen."

A rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy: "So your mother says your prayers for you each night. Very commendable. What does she say?" The little boy replied, "Thank G-d he's in bed!"


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