36 bad things to hear before surgery.

1. "Oops!"
2. "Ouch!"
3. "Ok, we'll take a vote."
4. "Wasn't I wearing my wedding band/ring?"
5. "It's alive! IT'S ALIVE!!!"
6. "Now where did I put the manual?"
7. "You know I can't stand the sight of blood."
8. "Anesthetic? What anesthetic?"
9. "Ahh.. nobody'll notice."
10. "I said inject GLYCOglycrin!"
11. "Let's see now... where's slot A?"
12. "Hey! I saw something just like this on The X-Files!"
13. "Now I'm sure I put his brain around here somewhere."
14. "Dr. Brahms, please refrain from sleeping in the patient."
15. "Dammit, I hate it when I have parts left over."
16. "Three-eighths! I asked for a nine-sixteenths!"
17. "Ok, think... You're back in med school, that test you failed...

    think....."

18. "AUUGGHHH! Get it off me, get it off me!"
19. "Now, which one of these did you sterilize, again?"
20. "No, NOT THAT ONE!!!"
21. "Dammit, get the glue!!"
22. "Simmons, I told you not to keep things in your pocket!"
23. "What were we supposed to cut off again?"
24. "What do you *mean* you forgot?"
25. "Now what does this thing do?"
26. "Simmons, could you bring over the spare parts?"
27. "Caffeine, 220mg. Not him, you idiot-ME!"
28. "Would you like a priest?"
29. "@$!%@^#!!"
30. "If we cut this part off it should fit nicely."
31. "I don't know, it isn't in the manual!"
32. "Well, as long as he doesn't breathe very hard."
33. "I don't think that should be twitching like that."
34. "Quick, get the sledge hammer!"
35. "I thought most people had two of those."
36. "Sho I sshaid ta him, 'I cain't hhave ainy more o'dat booze. I's gots

    taa work t-tonight.' "