Q: What do you call a clairvoyant midget that just escaped from prison?
A: A small medium at large.


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yo momma so stupid she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!!
yo momma so fat she had to get baptised at seaworld!!
yo house is so dirty i triped over a rat and a cockroach stole my wallet!!
yo momma so fat she went in 7-11 and didn't come out untill 12:15!!
yo momma so fat she sit on a rainbow and made skittles!!
yo momma's house is so dirty i opened up the refrigerater and there was three 
roaches standing there singing "We Are Family"!!


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Miss Figpot instructed her class to "use 'harassment' in a
sentence.

Our famous little Johnnie jumped up from his seat in the back of
the room and said, "When he went to touch her, her mouth said
'no', but her ass meant 'yes'!"


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Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit? 
A: Unique up on him!  


Q: If all the cars in the U.S.A.were pink. What would we have? 
A: A pink carnation. ( car nation )


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The doctor was making his rounds and walked into the semi-private 
room in the hospital to examine old Mrs. Williams. After the exam 
in his best professional voice, he said smoothly, "You are coughing 
much more easily this morning."

"I should," snapped the patient. "I've been practicing all night." 


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A defendant was asked if he wanted a bench trial or a jury trial.

"Jury trial," he replied.

"Do you understand the difference?" asked the judge.

"Sure," replied the defendant. "That's where twelve ignorant
people decide my fate instead of one."



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"Oh God," sighed the wife one morning, "I'm convinced my mind is almost
completely gone!"
 
Her husband looked up from the newspaper and commented, "I'm not surprised:
You've been giving me a piece of it every day for twenty years!"
 

************************************************************************


A father was reading Bible stories to his young son.
He read, 'The man named Lot was warned to take his
wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked
back and was turned to salt." His son asked, "What
happened to the flea?"


************************************************************************


Q: Two gays and two lesbians race across a room, who will win? 

A: The lesbians, they go lickety-split, the gays just poke along 



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The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention 
in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 
and 28 and 44?"

Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!" 



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