ALCOHOL WARNINGS THE TORONTO BOARD OF HEALTH HAS PROPOSED THAT WARNING SIGNS BE PLACED ON BOOZEBOTTLES TO TIP OFF DRINKERS ABOUT THE POSSIBLE PERIL OF POUNDING A PINT ORTWO. 1. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard off a sh*t truck at 100 yards. 2. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an a*shole. 3. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN. 4. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish. 5. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you REALLY think while photocopying your butt at the office Christmas party. 6. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning. 7. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell ever happened to your pants anyway. 8. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember) 9. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead. 10. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Psycho.
