HAPPILY ADDICTED TO THE WEB
                (to the tune of "Winter Wonderland")

     Doorbell rings, I'm not list'nin',
     From my mouth, drool is glist'nin',
     I'm happy--although
     My boss let me go--
     Happily addicted to the Web.

     All night long, I sit clicking,
     Unaware time is ticking,
     There's beard on my cheek,
     Same clothes for a week,
     Happily addicted to the Web.

     Friends come by; they shake me,
     Saying, "Yo, man!
     Don't you know tonight's the senior prom?"
     With a listless shrug, I mutter, "No, man;
     I just discovered letterman-dot-com!"

     I don't phone, don't send faxes,
     Don't go out, don't pay taxes,
     Who cares if someday
     They drag me away?
     I'm happily addicted to the Web!