There is a company which makes a shampoo called "Gee Your Hair
Smells Terrific." They have recently announced a new line of feminine
hygiene products.


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Vasectomies... I can understand why men don't like vasectomies.
My uncle got a vasectomy, and paid for it with his credit card.
He forgot to pay the bill, and the finance company came over to
his house and knocked up my aunt!


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"Mom, I'm pregnant," announced a teen.
"How can that be?  What did I tell you about sex?" asked her mom.
"That I should take measures.  That's what I did!  I took measures
and then went with the biggest."


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An Alabama State Trooper pulls over a pickup
truck on I-20.

He says to the driver, "Got any ID?"

The driver says, "'bout whut?"


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Two Alabama State Troopers were chasing
a Camaro East on I-20 toward Georgia.
When the suspect crossed the Georgia line,
the first Trooper pulled over quickly.

The rookie Trooper pulled in behind him and
said, "Hey, sarge, why did you stop?"

The sarge replied, "He's in Georgia now.
They're an hour ahead of us, so we'll never
catch him."



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A Farmer was plowing a field and his neighbor came over to 
see how he  was doing, when the farmer was done he came over
to talk to his neighbor,   the neighbor told the farmer that 
he had missed a spot, the farmer said,  I  can't plow that, 
that is "SACRED GROUND", thats where I had my    "FIRST SEX 
EXPERIENCE"  and do you see that tree over their,  HER  MOTHER STOOD
there and watched us.  The neighbor said what did her  mother say. 
"SHE SAID  BAAAA! BAAAA!."



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As I was trying to pack for vacation, my 3-year-old daughter was having a
wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point, she said, "Mom, look at
this," and stuck out two of her fingers. 
 
Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her fingers in my
mouth, pretending to eat them, before rushing out of the room again. 
 
When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bed with a devastated look
on her face.
 
"Mommy, where's my booger?" she asked.



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